Before I get into what FAFASD has in mind for the struggling ones, let me show you a passage or two from my upcoming book, Good-bye Mother Group – Hello Life:
FORWARD
…it wasn’t until government agencies; hospitals, courts and other agencies, got a hold of this idea and became involved that the trouble really began. I say trouble because of the promise of the 12-steps and their slogans that don't hold up.
It’s scary because professionals are meeting up with other recovery methods or theories but are not taking them seriously. One example is quitting alone. That is what you are doing with an FAFASD program (which in fact would be your own personal program). To them, quitting alone is laughable. But keep in mind, all recovery ideas are nothing more than theories and interestingly the simplest one to follow is to quit alone. This way you don’t need other help or slogans. It’s ironic that one of AA’s slogans is KISS – “Keep It Simple Stupid.” “Stupid?” This you will see hanging up on the wall when you walk into your first meeting.
Back to A.A., millions of people over the last fifty-some years were streamlined into this recovery system that would go on for the rest of their lives. The membership ballooned to staggering numbers. It had to because once inside, there was no way out. And you don’t become diseased until that fateful day when you walk through the doors to your very first meeting. “Alcoholism” is a “lifelong, chronic and progressive disease.” Alcoholism is or was not something that would ever go away. And once you (not necessarily you, you) had attended your first meeting you also accepted that very prognosis of a lifelong, progressive and incurable disease. You just accepted that. It was easy to accept because the meeting room and its chairs were full of people “just like you.”
It is no surprise that there was never another widely recognized way to end an addiction. The masses of people always rolled with the biggest ball and made the biggest splashes, literally. What I mean is, when the competition is so big, the comparatively pale contender simply rolled unnoticeably into spheres that scarcely offered a kerplunk in the sea of recovery. It would need to be a really big discovery on someone’s part to engender the alternative cure that the masses would accept and promote.
Chapter 1
Alcohol and drugs are invariably, indubitably and indescribably, the most powerful influences in your life right now, even if you are well into years of recovery as a non-self recovered person. You probably haven’t heard of a program that suggested quitting forever by yourself. At least not until now.
You have succumbed to alcohol and/or a drug, dealt with it, abided by it, and given yourself up to it and done everything else with it except have sex with it, that it is a wonder you are not in hell right this minute. But you have visited hell, haven’t you? Through the portals you went into sullen darkness traveling of two minds to meet the prince of darkness. One mind was gripping the hand of the power that maims, kills, and leaves the pungent smell of death lingering on the sills of life – the other mind with slippery fingers trying hopelessly to grasp at clean living.
Whether you are immersed in the throes of a recovery program or bobbling between fixes right now, you can make a decision right now to quit and make it stick forever. That will make your past lifestyle nothing but a ghostly memory. How so? Very simply, you have the ability in you to start or end anything. But in order to give up your favorite fix, which some mistakenly call their sweetheart or their best friend (should be called “enemy #1), you have to realize that there will be a void in your life – maybe a very big and scary one.
You can begin to fill that void very quickly by realizing one thing. Most people, who recover from an addiction, are not seeing, hearing, tasting and smelling that which they are trading their drug for. That thing is life. I’m talking about the minimum 65% of people who do it by themselves; those of whom have used their better judgment in making a decision to quit by using a personal life journey.
Come in now with open arms and I’ll show you how to see, taste, smell, hear and breathe what has always been yours and in whichever quantity you have ever wanted of it. You see, it is there with you right now – life – and I’m guessing with much certainty that you can feel it now in some way. It comes in so many forms and with such abundance that you would have to be dead to not notice it but you most certainly have been kept from enjoying life and letting it become a conscious part of your very essence simply by not being sensitive to its many facets. Taking life for granted and becoming complacent with it is to take you out of existence with it. The alternative is you and life together symbiotically as in all of nature; invited like sun through your window and making it a much more soothing choice. Here you will see how to get tough with your addiction by facing it head on in order to have that soothing exchange.
In the past, addiction recovery was a complex myriad of rules that in essence told you it is a perfect human that will arrest an addiction. First, you have to work on perfecting your morals, values, and personal attributes including those things called virtues. Second, you have to abide by slogans, the advice of another brain called “your sponsor,” and the idea that you cannot make it without being with other users or ex-users. Third, you have to admit that you have a life-long chronic, progressive and incurable disease that only gets worse as time goes on. Fourth, you have to get rid of character defects, every single reminder of drinking in your home, your family’s homes and your friend’s homes. Fifth, you have to get your immediate family to see your sickness, get your employer and banker to understand your illness, and educate everyone you wish to have an intimate relationship with (friends, lovers) about the nature of your illness. After these things are done you will then have a really good shot at never using for only one day. Tomorrow you’ll get to do this again. It’s part of your inventory, you see. It’s the AA way. And as yet, I haven’t even mentioned all the meetings you will be attending and the life juggling you’ll have to do to get to them.
While all of this is going on you are expected to believe that this is the life you’ve always wanted but could never have. You are expected to believe you are free from your addiction when, in reality, you are concentrating on it more than ever. And while things are getting better in your life and you are busy concluding that your addiction is over (Cause, “ Look,” you might say, “I haven’t used for three months”), you are too coddled by “Mother Group” members to stand back far enough to realize that you, my friend, have just traded one addiction for another – recovery. That is, recovery the AA and the NA way.
You did well with your 12-step attempt and you have gotten some personal work done. If you were there for any period of time you have learned a few things about living a good life. That’s great. Now are you ready to end your addiction? Remember, ending an addiction is Is An Event, Not A Process. So let’s get on with it. Or, let’s get it over with!
OK, I’m Back:
Yes. Ending an addiction is an event. This is how FAFASD views it. But how do we create this event?
Well, since you are or will be pregnant, you should already have at least 50% of that covered as you realize you are responsible for a new life that would come into this world as a healthy baby. Now for the other %, be responsible to you.
We will introduce the book “The New Cure,” The New Cure For Substance Addiction. (See Blog #4: Quotes to Live By @fetuswinning – near the end of that blog) This is the book that will end your addiction when you accept its easy to grasp self-recovery logic. The success rate is as much as 65% and that did not include pregnant women. Remember, I just said being pregnant should already have the battle cut in half.
Next we teach you REBT. Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy is for everyone because from time to time, everyone could sure use it. REBT enables a person who is experiencing negative unhealthy feelings to turn them into either positive negative feelings or even positive feelings. Like this:
Damning Anger – to – Mildly Upset – to – Reasonably Happy
We recognize that quitting an addiction is difficult at first. It would undoubtedly bring about many damning feelings and on many occassions. It is for each of these occassions that REBT will have you working at the negative emotion in your head by turning it into a bearable emotion or even ridding yourself of the emotion altogether. That would work like this:
You have an Irrational Belief:
“I am so depressed I must have just one drink to make it go away.”
Then you debate the Irrational Belief and end up with with better, more realistic, thoughts:
“It’s true. I am depressed but there is no law in the universe that says I must have a drink to fix it. In fact, alcohol will just depress me more. Als, it drives frineds and family away. I would have to be crazy to let that happen. And since I defintely know I'm not crazy, I then know for sure that I can live without it. But for sure, I know that a drink will never help."
This gives you more acceptable feelings of sadness and empowers you to do something about it rather than being couch-ridden by the crippling hold of depression.
In actual fact, REBT really is this quick. But you still need to learn the technique. That’s where the course comes in. It’s a 3 to 4 hour course that will change your way of thinking. Thoughts cause emotions. Change your thoughts and the emotions will change as well. You’ll see when you take the course.
Finally, there will be a place to go to talk. Or maybe enjoy a quiet room with big chairs and a big TV or just some nice music to which you may regroup your thoughts. FAFASD staff will be trained to deal with all of your concerns. But our staff will not take responsibility for you. That's your job and when you realize that no other secret powers are at work here, you'll only find one strength - your strength. Now that's worth a talk.
So that’s it. If you’re afraid of being thrust into a 12-step program like everyone else, fear no more. We see you as different. Not helpless. And we have developed that different, completely friendly approach to having a healthy baby.
Note of interest: All healthy births enter our calender contest whereby if you win, we’ll give you the month of your child’s birth featuring you and your baby in a theme, like, for example, coveralls, plaid outfits, straw hats and a pumpkin for October. You get the idea? Calenders will be sold for fundraising. So think about it. Your healthy pregnancies will engeander funds for future healthy pregnancies.
FAFASD: Win/Win
Let the fetus do its job of becoming your baby.
No Booze. No Drugs. Being Real.
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